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Day 83

September 28, 2012

I mark time from one clinic visit to the next and look forward to hopefully being discharged back to society at day 100.  Even after I’m released, I’ll need follow up visits once every 2 weeks and then monthly so I’ll be coming back to COH fairly often.  I know it will be quite some time before I can feel comfortable that a new obstacle won’t unexpectedly try to take me down.  Every time I hear a cough or see a little toddler or a dog, I take evasive action and maneuver myself out of their way.  Am I a little paranoid, you bet.  After spending 35 days in the hospital after a transplant, I am acutely aware of my tenuous health and will take all measures to avoid a return to that place.

The last week I’ve been feeling good although my WBC dropped from 4.7 to 3.0 and my platelets have decreased from 73,000 to 57,000.  My red cells are 11.6 which is essentially unchanged.  I would prefer that the counts were going up but this yo-yo pattern is pretty common and it can go on for a long time.  The real question is: are the donor cells engrafting in my bone marrow.  Unfortunately, without a bone marrow biopsy one does not really know.  The protocol at COH is to get a bone marrow biopsy before day 100 so I’ll know soon.  Through this experience I’ve learned something important, don’t worry.  Worry doesn’t change my future and fear only incapacitate me.  That doesn’t mean I’m always successful, but I’m better at it.  I think the credit goes to my belief that God “sees” me as an individual and cares about me.  I still need to do my part but I’m not alone.

My body does demands daily naps and I know my energy level will be suboptimal for a long time.  I think my appetite is OK but not enough that I’m putting on weight although I know that will come with time.  We’re reducing my medications bit by bit but I think it too will be a long process.

I will miss many of the people at the COH that I see routinely.  The 2 ladies that register me, Annie the scheduler, all the people who have taken my blood from my PICC line especially Holly, all the nurses, and especially other patients that I have gotten to know so well through talking about our mutual concerns, current maladies, fears, and how this experience has changed us.  But I also look forward to going home to Soquel to see all my friends.

 

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4 Comments
  1. Brent permalink

    Jim, your mental is now absolutely PERFECT and not significantly different from those of us on the “outside” who are not going through the trials and tribulations that are on you. One day at a time . . .
    and you will be made whole because you are a huge contributor to all the rest of us.
    Keep on keeping on.
    Best regards to all your caregivers, who are also suffering through this ordeal.
    God’s speed for your recovery.
    Brent

  2. Randy Danto permalink

    Your approach to worry is very enlightening. You’ve given much to those of us watching your recovery. Many thanks! And I look forward to seeing you in Soquel soon!

  3. jomobri1231@comcast.net permalink

    Hi, Jim.

    Boy, Day 100 is only 17 days away!

    You hang in there.  We admire your courage, grace, and wisdom.  I’m sure you do but repeatedly remind Claire how much you love and appreciate her.

    Love,

    Sun-Ah

    p.s. Can’t wait to see you.  Charlie and I have been so busy and SJ rep tickets got lost in the mail.  I didn’t get clued in until the first play was already over!  Next play is October 13th and we’re crossing our fingers that you’d be able to go with us.

  4. Satish permalink

    Hi Jim
    what you are going thru is normal. You are making an excellent progress and one day it will be all behind you. Can’t wait to see you in Santa cruz.
    Satish

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